I never knew the luxury of having my breasts exposed in pyjamas. Or anywhere really! They have been shielded with breast pads for nearly 6 months now and it’s stifling!
I was always the one to go on topless on holiday and loved to sleep naked. Now my boobs are a food factory and soothing device. How times change.
Breast pads in themselves are a tricky item. The Johnson’s ones are designed for smaller boobied ladies, whilst the Tommee Tippee ones are industrial. For the more generous bosom! I’m Tommee Tippee for the record!
Regardless, they will not stick to your bra but WILL stick to places you wish they wouldn’t. “Excuse me. I think you dropped this” shouts the attractive man as I attempt to leave Silverburn with a pad stuck to the floor after probably dropping off my buttocks like a cheap post it note. “Oh yes. My TISSUE” I shriek trying to disguise the fact that this poor chap was now clutching my soggy breast pad.
We both knew the truth. Times had changed and my status as a woman had changed to a new phase. I was no longer hot, or a even a “yummy Mummy”. I was a fully functional Mother in seriously dodgy territory. I’m still trying to grapple with my new identity. Is it just me?